Today’s good news from the home front is that I was not killed by the broken spring in my garage door. Well, to be honest, it wasn’t even a near miss. Ok. The truth is that I didn’t even know it was broken until I returned to find that the garage door would no longer go up with the push of the button. Believe me, I tried numerous times.
But have you ever Googled broken garage door spring? Link after link shout this warning: people are often killed and maimed by broken garage door springs. Does it matter that most of the websites are promoting the services of some company who will rescue unsuspecting homeowners from this horrid danger by having their trained technician come right to the home to replace the dangerous spring?
In five years’ worth of episodes of the popular HBO series Six Feet Under – where a woman was crushed by falling “blue ice” from a passing jet liner, another was done in by a low-hanging street sign during a open-air ride through the roof of a limo, and a wide variety of other wild and crazy deaths were documented, not once did the writers think to use the deadly garage door spring as the launchpad for an episode.
The journalist in me began to wonder about all these deaths and maimings, so I Googled killed by broken garage door spring hoping to find some juicy news articles which chronicled the many deaths and maimings by this silent killer hiding inside everyone’s home. After plowing through several pages of do-it-yourself sites and garage door sales websites, I finally hit pay dirt.
In bold letters I spied the words a woman was killed … broken garage door. Turns out the woman was killed when she was shot in the head climbing through a broken garage door window to burglarize someone’s home.
Moving on, I found another. SWAT officers, broken, garage … nah. Some guy hiding in a parking garage. An intruder running towards a garage door when an employee fired and killed him. After a few more pages of research, I came to the conclusion that the real danger is to intruders running towards and climbing through garage doors. Seems they get shot a lot.
Anyway, all’s well that ends well. A nice technician came out and rescued our little family from sudden death by replacing our garage door springs. He even talked us into the cadillac version with the promise that the fancier springs would last longer.
I’m just sorry to find out Six Feet Under is no longer in production. This could have been my big break for selling a script about some mom on her cell phone driving into the garage when … you get the picture.