We all knew that the Fairy Godmother was a force to be reckoned with, and she seemed to be there at just the right moment when all hope was lost – turning pumpkins into chariots, mice into white stallions and ugly ducklings into beauty queens.
Maybe that’s why I never bought into the whole beauty scene as a kid. Yeah, I loved clothes and loved shoes even more, but if it took more than five minutes to do my hair, it was not going to happen. There was too much to do, and I wasn’t wasting time on silly hair-dos or new makeup techniques or even painting my nails. I think all along I was waiting for the Fairy Godmother to come and pwang all my faults away and leave me a drop-dead beauty with all of my wishes to come true.
Well, I discovered this week that my personal Fairy Godmother invested my happily ever after into the stock market, and I think she sold all of it on Monday evening. As I watched the stock market drop faster than The Beast, one of the fastest rollercoasters around – a ride I loved to take as a teen, I didn’t see a bunch of scared, panicked stock brokers bailing out. No, I saw a posse of Fairy Godmothers unloading their worthless happily ever afters before the market completely bottomed out.
And last I saw her, she was beating a large pumpkin with her wand and yelling, “I am NOT taking public transportation. Abracadabra, turn, you stupid pumpkin!”
I think I should have read different books as a kid – maybe more space stuff like Star Wars. In today’s economy, I’m thinking a fantasy about a spaceship coming to rescue us all is sounding a whole lot better than some Fairy Godmother who doesn’t even know how to keep her spell from turning back at midnight.
If I had any happily ever after left, I’d be buying into the market this morning, but I think I’m beyond that. Right now, I’d settle for safe and secure. But I promise you, if that Fairy Godmother shows up at my door, she’s sleeping on the couch. And she can wash her own sheets. I’m too busy just getting by.